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Oct. 12th, 2010

[nph fairy][bedizen]

(no subject)

[10/12/10 4:37:30 AM] evilzug: the american tail
[10/12/10 4:37:35 AM] evilzug: fucking fivel walking over a bridge
[10/12/10 4:37:38 AM] evilzug: and his family is under it
[10/12/10 4:37:41 AM] evilzug: that kind of stupid shit
[10/12/10 4:37:46 AM] evilzug: totally makes me angry
[nph fairy][bedizen]

Taking care of business.

Hey, remember this entry? Since I wasn't actually able to post the letter on his door because my dad would disown me, I came up with a better solution.



Problem solved.

Oct. 11th, 2010

[nph fairy][bedizen]

(no subject)

Dearest Neighbor/Cock-Faced Wildebeest Fucker,

I came to London with the intent to visit and support my father while he's staying here to work on a movie. He picked this flat specifically so that I could have privacy and comfort while his family comes to visit. Unfortunately, my window does not open, so when it is stifling hot in my room, I have to turn on my ceiling fan. This is met with, first, a complaint, to which I respond by only turning on my fan in the morning when I'm sleeping, to which that is met with three extremely loud thumps that wake me from my pleasant slumber. Then, when we finally get someone in to fix my window so it will open and I don't have to disturb you with my fan, it opens into what I could only describe as a sound tunnel that connects our windows to each other. Once my window is open, if I talk on the phone quietly with my friends, I receive an extremely loud "SHUT UP" which is likely to have woken our other neighbors. I was unable to respond because my father had pointed out he was going to have to continue living next to you and didn't want to have a problem.

Now, these experiences in themselves are unsettling, but I wouldn't mind it quite as much if the sound tunnel didn't work both ways and I weren't forced to listen to you engaging in the deafening act of coitus with prostitutes every other night. I know they are prostitutes because someone of your age and attractiveness would not be able to enjoy the luxury of "picking up a girl" as it were. I'm not even sure how you are able to get yourself up the stairs every time you come home. You're lucky I'm not PMSing or you might have come home to a giant dick painted on your door.

Thank you for your time and I hope you die from syphilis.
Your neighbor,
Chloe

Sep. 22nd, 2010

[nph fairy][bedizen]

When Cass and I actually get along.

Playing with our new phones. I set her ringtone to "Down2Business", which is like a shitty ripoff of Mission Impossible.

Cass: Fix my ringtone.
Chloe: What, you don't want Down2Business?
Cass: No.
Chloe: What do you want?
Cass: Anything but that.

Chloe takes Cass's phone into her room and sets her tone to Calypso- it's terrible. She gives it back.

Cass: I have to go to the bathroom.
Chloe: I'm calling you.

Chloe hears the Calypso theme from inside the bathroom, then Cass laughing. She ends the call.

Then she gets a call back, but doesn't hear anything. She hangs up. Cass comes out of the bathroom.

Chloe: Why'd you call me?
Cass: I was trying to fart.

Sep. 12th, 2010

[nph fairy][bedizen]

gay

Take a picture of you in your current state, no changing your clothes or quickly putting on makeup. NO PHOTOSHOP. Show your F-List the Real You!

Here we go.Collapse )

Jul. 12th, 2010

[nph fairy][bedizen]

(no subject)

Based on a private blog I wrote, I got this:

I write like
Vladimir Nabokov

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!



So sweet. So sweet.

Apr. 28th, 2010

[nph fairy][bedizen]

(no subject)

Stan the Man







Loved you, buddy. You were perfection. Humans could learn a thing or two from you.

Apr. 9th, 2010

[nph fairy][bedizen]

(no subject)

Apr. 8th, 2010

[nph fairy][bedizen]

(no subject)

Mar. 27th, 2010

[t-rex][bedizen][photo:francini]

HALT. WHO GOES THERE?

This Journal is 80% Friends Only.

If you add me, you'll get some stuff, but not the GOOD stuff.

You want the good stuff? Comment here.

Rules.Collapse )

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